Change in New Hampshire
As many of you may know, we spent the last week campaigning in New Hampshire. I never knew this state was here! It was actually a bit of a surprise when I found out about it. I had never heard of it, and at first was angry that Anselmo would plan to waste my time campaigning overseas. However, it turns out that New Hampshire is not in New England at all; she’s right here in the U.S. of A! I was pretty confused at first, but Anselmo took out the map and showed me where we were going. I recognized it immediately, almost. I know it’s the state I usually get confused with Vermont. I’m pretty sure it’s one of those two, though.
I’ve been to the original Hampshire, and I have to say: it was a dump. For this reason, I had pretty low expectations. I had hope though; I mean, New Mexico is way better than the old one, right? And I have to say, I have found New Hampshire quite beautiful since I arrived here. The scenery is quite varied: there are everything from glens, dales, and glades to hursts, knolls, and hillocks. And Montpelier, the capital, is a lovely town. The people are friendly, and the streets are relatively clean of urine. I wouldn’t change a thing.
But it turns out that the sweet creatures who inhabit this town want to change everything. We went downtown to a little “mom and pop” pizza “joint” and chatted up the locals. I got a slice of New York style pie and talked with some local schmos. They were really fascinating people. They seemed confused, though. They seemed to think that they were in Vermont, which I thought was weird. But I totally understand getting the two confused, like I mentioned earlier. Anyway, talking with these people led me to the conclusion that they want change.
Change is like that bell that makes the dogs salivate, only it works on voters. I found that the more I said it, the happier people were! I talked it up big time; change this, change that, make that illegal, kill those people. That kind of stuff. It really played well, and I had a great time playing make-believe. Also, I left without paying, so I hope they had a good time too. Just to make us even. We were going to go to Boston to get some of those beans they make, and Anselmo said it should take 3 hours by balloon. Unfortunately, it took 12 hours. There was some problem with the map or something. Primaries suck.